Trauma
People tend to think of psychological trauma as something that happened in the past, but a key marker of trauma is that it, in fact, will not stay in the past. The problem with trauma is that it starts when something happens to us, but that’s not where it stops. Whether remembered through narrative memories, through traumatic reenactment, or through the body, trauma has a way of invading present day and even the future of trauma survivors.
Traumatic experiences become embedded in the older, more primal parts of our brain that don’t have access to conscious awareness. Which means two things simultaneously. First, that trauma lodges in the body. We carry a physical imprint of our wounds. The body quite literally keeps the score. Secondly, the mind hides the score. It obscures the memories, buries and forgets them, or convinces us our victimisation was our fault, or covers the event in shame so we don’t discuss it. Ultimately trauma can leave us with a distorted sense of ourself and our emotions.
If you've avoided therapy in the past because giving up the only way you know how to survive your trauma feels overwhelming, know that the goal of good therapy isn't "stopping certain behaviors". Good trauma therapy helps us get curious about experimenting with new ways to cope, it helps us develop a wider catalog of ways to self-soothe, it can help grow the ability to make mindful choices, and it teaches us not to shame spiral when we do choose to self-soothe in harmful ways.
“Trauma is in the nervous system, not in the event”
Truthfully, trauma never really “goes away” but through self-advocacy (like showing up for yourself and doing the work) and really good care (like a good therapist, community, or support group), it can become a small part of our life instead of constantly taking center stage.
I will help you learn how to feel your feelings in a healthier way and support you in getting to know all your various parts, so that you can create more harmony within yourself.
Therapy for Trauma
Perhaps, as you sit here reading this, you are wondering if your experience even counts as traumatic. Most people associate trauma with harrowing events such as war or a natural disaster. However, any distressing event that falls beyond the scope of normal human experience can be considered traumatic.
Even as someone who has studied trauma therapy for years, I often find it difficult to describe just how trauma therapy works and what someone can expect from therapy. Typically, people come to therapy for trauma is seeking symptom management – which is a great goal and one good therapy can help most people move towards. The idea with trauma therapy is that we are able reduce the amount of space that any trauma takes up, and that the impact of trauma is minimised. As this happens, more energy and internal resources are available for: experiencing meaningful social connections, the self-respect that fuels good self-care, and the positive feelings that come from less trauma-symptom intrusion, healthy relationships, and good self-care. I find this model helpful because it accurately reflects that trauma will always be with us. I believe trauma is never excised or healed completely, but that with good treatment, it can exist within a whole, thriving self.
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a commonly used and well researched therapy for working trough trauma. Created by psychologist Francine Shapiro, EMDR therapy dates back to the late 1980s. This therapeutic approach is designed for working with distressing / traumatic memories. The theory behind EMDR is that many psychological difficulties are the result of distressing life experiences which have not been stored in memory properly and are said to be unprocessed or blocked. These traumatic memories may need some help to become processed, and EMDR is one way to do this. EMDR therapy is notably different from other treatment models. The therapist doesn't ask a client to reflect on or discuss the traumatic experience during EMDR. Instead, the client focuses on the memory and aims to change their brain's relationship with it. A therapist leads the client through eye movements whenever the patient recalls the triggering experience. There is very little talking in EMDR therapy, and instead the client is encouraged to remember the traumatic event whilst following the therapists hand in order to stimulate both sides of the brain.